The single women on Desperate Housewives don't seem to have much of a problem finding sexual partners, but real life single women over the age of 40 may not be having as much luck, say researchers from Vanderbilt University. Their new study, appearing in the Journal of Aging Studies finds that as women get older, they report having fewer sexual partners - often no sexual partners - as a result of cultural beliefs and the biological and social effects of aging. Somewhat predictably, more women than men report having no partners.
The study focused on those aged 40 to 59 who are single, divorced or widowed; a group, the researchers say, that is typically underrepresented in sexual studies. "We've all seen the seductive 40- or 50-something divorcee portrayed in the movies who attracts men like honey draws flies. Think of Susan Sarandon's character in the film Bull Durham. However, this appears to be the exception rather than the rule and maybe that is part of these characters' allure," said the leader of the study, Vanderbilt's Laura Carpenter.
I'm about to teach a series of workshops titled Owning Sexuality, and it's got me thinking what a big task I have ahead of me. Do any of us do a good job of really owning our sexuality? I think not. If you grew up anything like me, sex was something that happened in movies and gets twittered about in Cosmo, but it certainly wasn't something I was supposed to think about, much less OWN. I figured out that my parents had sex from time to time. After all, I learned where babies came from, and after discovering that my parents periodically locked the bedroom door, I put two and two together. But it certainly wasn't something I was supposed to do with my cute high school boyfriend. Or even my hot college honey. I was supposed to wait until I was married, then lock the door and get it on.
Well....uh hmm...it didn't quite happen that way. Which means- no surprise- I grew up feeling ashamed and guilty about my sexual feelings. Then I got married, and suddenly I felt overwhelmed with the whole virgin/whore thing. How was I supposed to be the cashmere-sweater-wearing, future-mother-of-my-husband's-children one moment and the slutty kitten in the bedroom the next? The cashmere sweater followed me into the bedroom, and my body reacted by shutting down. When my husband wanted to have sex, my yoni shut him out. Which lead to PAIN. And EMBARASSMENT. And SHAME. After many unhappy sexual experiences and ultimately, divorce, I realized something had to change. It was time to OWN my sexuality.
It hasn't been easy. All those years of childhood programming take years to undo. And then the trauma that followed after my sexual difficulties with my first husband took more years to heal. But now, at almost forty, I feel like I'm finally coming into my own (no pun intended).
I am not alone in my struggles. My patients share their challenges, which vary from decreased libido to painful sex to difficulty achieving orgasm to a simple sense of sexual dissatisfaction. Some struggle with sexual identity, others long to express themselves in partnership but haven't found the right person. For all the hype we hear in the media, you'd think sex would be a whole lot easier- and much more fun. But we have the power within us to change this. Much can be done.
I just moved to Marin County in the San Francisco Bay area, and I've got to say, as a gynecologist, this is one of the sex-friendliest cities I've ever been. Since I've been here, I've been meeting women who genuinely aim to dialogue, heal, and support women in their quest for sexual balance, happiness, and fulfillment. Take Christine Arylo of www.letsgirltalk.com, who invited me to participate in her podcast, “Yapping With Yoni: Get Connected to the Woman Inside You.” Here's a woman inviting all women to actually talk to each other about sex and vaginas and all that other stuff we like to push under the rug. So kudos to Christine for opening a dialogue. Let's girl talk!
The end of the penis is covered by the foreskin, if it hasn't been removed by circumcision. The ridge on the underside of the head of the penis, called the frenulum, is usually a man's most sensitive part. At the very end of the penis is a slit opening to the urethra, through which semen and urine pass.
At the base of the penis is a pouch of skin called the scrotum. It contains the testes. These produce sperm and store it. They also produce the male sex hormone, testosterone.
The other parts of the man's reproductive system lie inside his body. The prostate gland is deep in the pelvis and surrounds the urethra as it leaves the bladder. The prostate gland produces fluids that contribute to the semen and helps create the intense sensations a man experiences when he has an orgasm.
Sexuality Culture Exhibition held in Shanghai in Aug. An increasing number of exhibitions and activities centering on sexuality are being held in China, reflecting changes in this traditional and conservative society.